*out of my mind*
ever feel like you've got so much weighing on your mind that you begin to exist out of your mind? like tonight: i don't know how i got home. i'm tired and frustrated, not fully aware of my surroundings. but somehow i knew to step off the bus at the right stop, somehow i managed to turn in the right direction, somehow i managed to put one foot in front of the other... left right left right left... and i ended up at home. i felt like i was being moved by some other entity.

many things are out of my control. i don't mean in the sense that things are all falling down around me, and i can't do anything about it. it is simply a truth statement. it is my coming face to face with this truth and being awakened to the reality that very little is really in my control. i want to help, but i can do nothing - but pray. i hope i'm not giving off the impression that i think prayer is useless. quite the opposite, i absolutely believe that prayer is the essence of any source of real power. such a simple thing, just conversation with God. yet it has such intense power to move, to change. yes, i think i should pray.

even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the lord will renew their strength. they will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. ~ isaiah 40:30-31