Tuesday, June 17, 2003

*today*
today is a brand new day. sometimes i forget that. it does not - should not - carry with it what is past, or what lay ahead. today is TODAY. it's good to have a fresh view to the world and life sometimes. i would say all the time, but i don't know if that's humanly possible. i think it's in human nature to hold on to things past and future, and forget what IS, here and now. i am here, and this is now. how do i move forward? i've been pondering my next phase, since in 2-4 months' time, both derek and i may be finished with our jobs. we have to consider these things now. but my conclusion is, we cannot rightfully look at the future without taking hold of the present. each day requires something of me now, in order to have any kind of impact in the future, whether it's a resolve in my own heart, or a physical action. if we live in fear of what the future might be, then we will be frozen into stagnation. if we allow failures of the past to haunt us, we will never move forward. that's not what God wants.

well, if you've tried all the conventional ways and missionary societies and God is still telling you to go, you had better get on the move.

just some advice one jackie pullinger received after coming up against wall after wall in her attempt to "go." she almost gave up. get on the move. but i'm glad she didn't. and i hope and pray that i will be ready to go when God calls me.