*return of the king*
hmm.. there was a minor editorial glitch and this wasn't supposed to be posted yet... anyhoo here it is now...
i'm reliving the trilogy week by week... can't wait.
it's been awhile since i've really updated. i guess sometimes when there's so much to say it's easier to not say anything... it's also because the fear of putting into words something that's been heavy on my heart for a long time and not doing it justice sometimes steers me away. but i feel like i'm at a stalemate at the moment, and if i don't do something to spark the passion again, i will be in danger of forgetting why i'm doing what i'm doing (or not doing what i was doing, depending on how you look at it).
one month and 9 days ago, i officially quit my relatively good job doing what i had always wanted to do, good eventhough i was underpaid. my original purpose was to be able to devote more time in helping the vine in developing parts of the vine center vision, namely the part to do with youth. one of the first things i remember being excited about in hong kong was discussing with koryl about having a 24/7 center where youth can drop in, find refuge, a listening ear, and most of all discover the miracle of living life with a loving, passionate, intimate God. after hillsong last summer, i wanted to begin realizing this vision. i know this is what God has placed before me. but once the other distractions were dropped, i find myself struggling to focus on the unseen (see december 2, 2003 post).
i went to bed last night with this post half-written. i didn't know how much to say. i didn't know what to say. i woke up this morning realizing i (or rather my mind, my soul) had been singing an old praise song all night. this song overwhelmed me and i couldn't get it out of my head.
a God of faithfulness, without injustice
great and mighty is he
and i dreamt that i had signed up for a new wilderness thrill ride, but ended up having to go to a hut in a desert (a desert!!) to wait for something else that was promised me. now in this dream i had become a man, and i was supposed to be waiting for my bride.
is He trying to tell me something?
...
are there any good psychotherapists out there??
hmm.. there was a minor editorial glitch and this wasn't supposed to be posted yet... anyhoo here it is now...
i'm reliving the trilogy week by week... can't wait.
it's been awhile since i've really updated. i guess sometimes when there's so much to say it's easier to not say anything... it's also because the fear of putting into words something that's been heavy on my heart for a long time and not doing it justice sometimes steers me away. but i feel like i'm at a stalemate at the moment, and if i don't do something to spark the passion again, i will be in danger of forgetting why i'm doing what i'm doing (or not doing what i was doing, depending on how you look at it).
one month and 9 days ago, i officially quit my relatively good job doing what i had always wanted to do, good eventhough i was underpaid. my original purpose was to be able to devote more time in helping the vine in developing parts of the vine center vision, namely the part to do with youth. one of the first things i remember being excited about in hong kong was discussing with koryl about having a 24/7 center where youth can drop in, find refuge, a listening ear, and most of all discover the miracle of living life with a loving, passionate, intimate God. after hillsong last summer, i wanted to begin realizing this vision. i know this is what God has placed before me. but once the other distractions were dropped, i find myself struggling to focus on the unseen (see december 2, 2003 post).
i went to bed last night with this post half-written. i didn't know how much to say. i didn't know what to say. i woke up this morning realizing i (or rather my mind, my soul) had been singing an old praise song all night. this song overwhelmed me and i couldn't get it out of my head.
a God of faithfulness, without injustice
great and mighty is he
and i dreamt that i had signed up for a new wilderness thrill ride, but ended up having to go to a hut in a desert (a desert!!) to wait for something else that was promised me. now in this dream i had become a man, and i was supposed to be waiting for my bride.
is He trying to tell me something?
...
are there any good psychotherapists out there??
posted by jana* at 12:53 AM
