Saturday, March 27, 2004

as usual there is much has been happening, but i have not been able to sort these happenings and thoughts into anything coherent for myself, much less anything to be shared with the public... but here i am typing without much of an agenda.

i've had a week off work, for no reason in particular. just because my student's mother decided she didn't want to bother with school... so i've had a nice little break, just catching up with things that have been neglected since i started this job in this strange business called hollywood.

this month we have been fasting and praying for our church and our city, and the series of sermons on sundays dealt with desperation. i needed it. nay, i need it. in the forever tense. it's still a debate in my mind whether this state of spiritual poverty, this desperation for God, is something we can be in all the time (or at least strive to be in all the time), or whether it is really only possible when we are faced with a huge insurmountable mountain. nonetheless, i have prayed for it. in general, life is good. but i've felt a distance from God, and sort of quietness from His end. i wanted to be desperate, to need to know his presence strongly everyday. i mean, i know his presence is with me, but it seemed to have become a very quiet presence.... i wanted more. but i was confused because for so long i've reassured people that God's presence is not so much a feeling but a steadfast faith, and yet here i was, yearning for a real touch.

there's been an uneasiness, too, of sitting down alone with Him. i want to hear him, yet i don't have the patience to wait. today though, i finally did what i've been meaning to for a long time. i sat down and i listened... to jentzen franklin's "grace grace" sermon from the hillsong conference last year. now there's a sermon to get your spirit stirred up! for some reason, through this sermon, God chose to speak to me at this time. God's spirit is still at work. i think i just need to wake myself up a bit! after nearly 15 years, i'm tired of playing church. i'm tired of doing church. last week, ben wong gave a sermon that was definately God-breathed for us... and it was what i needed. a little jolt, a reminder of what this life is about.

so i'm excited about getting back to work next week. i've got heaps of people to share God's love with!! and i'm seriously praying for my friend sue, whom i've invited to see the passion of the christ, which is just coming out in hong kong over easter. our church has booked a theatre to preview this coming thursday. PLEASE PRAY for everyone who has been invited. my dear friend sue has been struggling with her faith (or rather lack of) for the better part of last year. i absolutely believe her time has come. this is going to be it... but one problem. although she really wants to see the movie, she has paddling practice on thursdays, and they're getting ready for a big race in south africa and she's not supposed to miss practice. so please pray that all their boats get stolen so she can't possibly practice... :D

oh, and please pray for the mission trip to bohol and cebu. we are set to leave april 5, and return april 12. i can sense God getting some huge things ready... it's gonna be a good one. the spiritual battles we have been fighting since preparation started is a mere indication of the amazing work that our mighty God is going to do. i'm so so so soooooo excited!!!!! GRACE GRACE!!!!!

can i get a PRAISE BREAK in here?!
(must be said in deep southern preacher-style accent)