Sunday, June 27, 2004

*a bedtime story*
inappropriate hours of the night call for inappropriate stories... hence i will tell you a story about a water jug.

actually, the aforementioned water jug is a fancy shmancy 'brita' water filtering system that my roommate christian bought a few weeks ago. because of it's enourmous size, it does not live in the refridgerator, as all things edible should in a dirty and humid place like hong kong. no, it happily sits on our counter top, proudly housing clean crisp water to quench our thirsty souls.

the other day, as i was fetching a drink for derek, i noticed something... suspicious floating in the fancy shmancy brita water filtering system. a first glance suggested a dead shriveled little spider. closer inspection negated that idea, but failed to come up with an alternative. i stared and stared at this mysterious little brown blob, until it was awakened. awakened it did, and supplied shocking confirmation of its identity: ANTS!! a clump of ants all cuddled up enjoying a relaxing nap in the middle of the tropical island resort of OUR FANCY SHMANCY BRITA WATER FILTERING SYSTEM!!!!!

why is this so shocking?? well for one, i did not know that ants enjoyed swimming as a popular recreational activity. for two, why would they be attracted to an odorless tasteless substance? for three, the jug was perfectly sealed, or so i thought. as soon as i realized what i was faced with, i dumped the water out in the sink, but that only made it worse. they latched onto the sides and proceeded to scatter like some foul viral disease. the jug was teeming with ants...!!!!!! now does this not gross you out?!

my roommate seemed to think that placing it on another countertop solves the problem, but this morning i knew that he was wrong. when i came home tonight, the clump had grown a little bit bigger from this morning, and there were more ants on their way. there was one poor little thing that had made it inside the jug, and was desperately trying to navigate itself to it's clump of friends already sipping on their pina coladas and soaking in the rays... i watched it for a long time, at once disgusted and fascinated. at one point, it even managed to get on it's front legs only, and took a few steps doing the handstand. A HANDSTAND!! an ant was doing a handstand walking on water right here in my kitchen. don't i feel special. you can only hope to witness such a momentous event in your own kitchen.

now, it's time for bed, little ones. sleep tight, and don't let the bedbugs bite.