*funny in my tummy*
you know that feeling you get when you're are standing at the edge, about to step into something mysterious? it's the same feeling i get when the first snow of the year falls, or when i'm actually standing at the top of seventh heaven with my 154 strapped on, looking out to the endless white-capped peaks of the cascade mountains.


i'm starting to get those feelings now, as i am on the verge of heading into some big unknown. in the past 3+ years, God has pinched and honed me into absolutely loving and embracing the lack of control i have on the future. yes i just said the "F" word. the Future. every man has gone to great ends to conquer it, to get even just a little grasp of it would be sufficient. but it cannot be done. no matter how hard we try, how much we anguish over it, how much preparation and anxiety we pour into it, we cannot tame it. so now i just take it as it comes. embrace it. trust it. trust the one who has it all in the palm of His hand. i know some people who have tried to fight it (myself for one) and hold on to the past or present -- however obviously futile it might be -- simply for the sake of a bit of familiarity and security. but we never get anywhere. we just end up in that same place for a long time. sometimes its weeks or months, and sadly, sometimes, it's years. but when you trust the Author, the Master script writer, He will always surprise us with what's in the midst of that mystery.


so this little funny feeling in my tummy... it's a good thing. i'm excited. and i'm ready.