*a story*
i've been wanting to write this post for a few days now... i just wanted to have enough time to mull and process some of these thoughts...
since starting to volunteer at mother's choice i've been pondering the lives of these beautiful prescious children. in the wee hours of the morning, i was talking with fion about the babies at the orphanage, the various reasons that someone would have to give up their own child, the effects of being seperated from your nine-month source of safety and security, and being passed around from arm to arm not knowing how long each embrace would last... it's actually something that's been close to my heart. since i was in highschool i've wanted to adopt, or at least to offer my home as a foster home. this was actually the impetus for me to enter into the child and youth care field. tears welled up in our eyes last night as we acknowledged that we could never ever understand what life looks like for someone who has never known the face of the one who birthed them.
but the lord gave me a revelation last night. we may never know the depth of the pain of this kind of seperation, but of course HE knows... i absolutely believe in god's infinite ability to heal all such wounds. how does he know? well, how does it feel to be seperated from your natural home of eternal glory, honor, power and adoration, where you can intimately fellowship with your father, in order to enter a place where you are confined by time, space, and body, where no one can truly understand who you are? how does it feel to be an innocent person judged as guilty (guilty for every wrong of the world, past present and future, for that matter)? it is because of all this that jesus is able to heal those wounds.
and this whole adoption thing.... how far would our father in heaven go to get us into his house? humanly speaking, many who adopt do it more out of a selfish reason rather than an altruistic one. such is the limit of our humanity. we are selfish. we want to feel worthy and significant by having a helpless baby need us. we want our name to carry on after we die, whether it be by our own flesh or not. but god needs no such trivial things. he wants us simply because he loves us. he wants us even when we are angry, bitter, frustrated, broken, imperfect. he wants us because we are those things. the closest human example to this kind of absolute love is in the adoption of dear friend of mine. she had been passed through several families, and through the course of it all, had become quite difficult to deal with. she had come to a point where she would speak or respond to no one. when a family expressed interest in adopting her, they were told by the social worker that they wouldn't really want to have her. afterall, she was very difficult and seemed to have serious developmental delays. but the family insisted. they prayed and they knew that this was to be their daughter. they didn't care that she was difficult. why? because they already loved her. she was prescious to them, no matter how broken a package she came in. they finally adopted her, and through the years of love and care, she came out of her shell, and became a living testimony of the power of the cross to heal and restore.
yes, this healing and restoration process is still going on for her. it was never promised that it would easy, or quick. as tony stated this morning, we have to burn through the hottest part of the flames before all the impurities fall off, and we clearly reflect the face of the silversmith. meeting our true father, the one who created us before the world began, may take some time. sometimes it's awkward, uncomfortable, because we are unsure of our eligibility. but really, we have nothing to be afraid of, because "how can [God] meet us face to face till we have faces?" (c.s.lewis)
i've been wanting to write this post for a few days now... i just wanted to have enough time to mull and process some of these thoughts...
since starting to volunteer at mother's choice i've been pondering the lives of these beautiful prescious children. in the wee hours of the morning, i was talking with fion about the babies at the orphanage, the various reasons that someone would have to give up their own child, the effects of being seperated from your nine-month source of safety and security, and being passed around from arm to arm not knowing how long each embrace would last... it's actually something that's been close to my heart. since i was in highschool i've wanted to adopt, or at least to offer my home as a foster home. this was actually the impetus for me to enter into the child and youth care field. tears welled up in our eyes last night as we acknowledged that we could never ever understand what life looks like for someone who has never known the face of the one who birthed them.
but the lord gave me a revelation last night. we may never know the depth of the pain of this kind of seperation, but of course HE knows... i absolutely believe in god's infinite ability to heal all such wounds. how does he know? well, how does it feel to be seperated from your natural home of eternal glory, honor, power and adoration, where you can intimately fellowship with your father, in order to enter a place where you are confined by time, space, and body, where no one can truly understand who you are? how does it feel to be an innocent person judged as guilty (guilty for every wrong of the world, past present and future, for that matter)? it is because of all this that jesus is able to heal those wounds.
and this whole adoption thing.... how far would our father in heaven go to get us into his house? humanly speaking, many who adopt do it more out of a selfish reason rather than an altruistic one. such is the limit of our humanity. we are selfish. we want to feel worthy and significant by having a helpless baby need us. we want our name to carry on after we die, whether it be by our own flesh or not. but god needs no such trivial things. he wants us simply because he loves us. he wants us even when we are angry, bitter, frustrated, broken, imperfect. he wants us because we are those things. the closest human example to this kind of absolute love is in the adoption of dear friend of mine. she had been passed through several families, and through the course of it all, had become quite difficult to deal with. she had come to a point where she would speak or respond to no one. when a family expressed interest in adopting her, they were told by the social worker that they wouldn't really want to have her. afterall, she was very difficult and seemed to have serious developmental delays. but the family insisted. they prayed and they knew that this was to be their daughter. they didn't care that she was difficult. why? because they already loved her. she was prescious to them, no matter how broken a package she came in. they finally adopted her, and through the years of love and care, she came out of her shell, and became a living testimony of the power of the cross to heal and restore.
yes, this healing and restoration process is still going on for her. it was never promised that it would easy, or quick. as tony stated this morning, we have to burn through the hottest part of the flames before all the impurities fall off, and we clearly reflect the face of the silversmith. meeting our true father, the one who created us before the world began, may take some time. sometimes it's awkward, uncomfortable, because we are unsure of our eligibility. but really, we have nothing to be afraid of, because "how can [God] meet us face to face till we have faces?" (c.s.lewis)
posted by jana* at 8:55 PM
