*as in a dream*

the past few days have been rather useless... at least i have felt really useless. i have done nothing but sit on my ass and watch tv. not even really good tv. but i've got this sick fascination with reality shows like rich kids cattle drive and gastineau girls. these people are just so unbelievable... i'm not going to say anymore about them because i'm going to say something horrible.

so last night i decided that i'm not going to turn on the tv at all today. so far so good, but man is it hard! i'm tempted every few minutes to reach for the remote just to see if, by chance, there could be something worth watching today. i probably will give in later today.

i'm not sure if it's the drugs or if it's because i havewn't used my brain in about 4 days, but i can't seem to be able to do anything productive. even as i'm blogging, i have to stop often to correct spelling mistakes and make sense of my sentences. my mind has turned to mush. my mind just seems to be in this perpetual state of blurriness, as in a dream.

so i'm sorry if i can't expound on anything terribly meaningful. i'm struggling right now just to focus my eyes on the screen. i've decided that being home alone for more than one day is no fun. much better to have husband around. i have to endure one more day til he comes back. booo. and i'm supposed to go to dinner with his parents and two of his aunts tonight. that should be interesting. it'll be the first time i'm with his parents without any buffers. no husband, no brothers in law, no other daughters in law to divert their attention from me. and i just know there's going to be endless questions about how i hurt my foot and how i should take care of it. i just don't respond well to smothering. i think that's why i can't handle my sister. she smothers like crazy. derek and i watched 'proof' with gwyneth paltrow and jake gyllenhaal last week, and i can totally empathize with gwyneth's character and her sister...

ok. this is enough brain work for today.