*moonshine*
i've had a pretty good weekend, albeit tiring.

friday night many of us congregated at my house to transform for real koryl into treehuggin' koryl: we were up til 3am shredding and tearing and waxing her hair into lovely dreadlocks. i think we still have koryl hairballs under our couch. of course there were many unexpected visitors which i'm sure thrilled my roomates (sorry christian!), but we had a good time anyway, deliberating deeper issues such as whether it was better to have a dog face growing out of your chest or a 8ft. tall girlfriend whose biceps are so large she can't put her arms straight down her side...

saturday and sunday was wanchai live, a local street party fundraiser for KELY support group and i was fortunate enough to have a large number of youths at my disposal to use as slave labor (ahaha just kidding renee) selling flashing kely HUG buttons and WL tshirts. sna also had a end-of-year coffee house (where we finished off the remaining healthy hair on k-real's head) and had an all-round good time with chilled out live music, art, and coffee made by hk's #1 barista extraordinaire steve.

shoot, my lunch break is almost over and i still have to eat.... a registered nutritionist told me today that i should eat 2500 calories a day in order to gain the 15 lbs. which i will need to be of 'normal' weight... so anyone willing to contribute to the "feed janice fund" can direct all donations here.... thanks to cliff ma for setting up this fund for such a worthy cause.

i still have visions of pet combs and wax and flashing hugs and missing joels... i wonder why.

*me slacker*
ha. this is mildly amusing... note me in one word...

phatphish Magic Number 24 Job Criminal Personality Slacker Temperament What You Lookin' At? Sexual If I Have To Likely To Win A Nobel Prize Me - In A Word Genius Colour Brought to you by MemeJack

*today*
today is a brand new day. sometimes i forget that. it does not - should not - carry with it what is past, or what lay ahead. today is TODAY. it's good to have a fresh view to the world and life sometimes. i would say all the time, but i don't know if that's humanly possible. i think it's in human nature to hold on to things past and future, and forget what IS, here and now. i am here, and this is now. how do i move forward? i've been pondering my next phase, since in 2-4 months' time, both derek and i may be finished with our jobs. we have to consider these things now. but my conclusion is, we cannot rightfully look at the future without taking hold of the present. each day requires something of me now, in order to have any kind of impact in the future, whether it's a resolve in my own heart, or a physical action. if we live in fear of what the future might be, then we will be frozen into stagnation. if we allow failures of the past to haunt us, we will never move forward. that's not what God wants.

well, if you've tried all the conventional ways and missionary societies and God is still telling you to go, you had better get on the move.

just some advice one jackie pullinger received after coming up against wall after wall in her attempt to "go." she almost gave up. get on the move. but i'm glad she didn't. and i hope and pray that i will be ready to go when God calls me.

*technical difficulties*
what happened to the right side of my blog??

*out of my mind*
ever feel like you've got so much weighing on your mind that you begin to exist out of your mind? like tonight: i don't know how i got home. i'm tired and frustrated, not fully aware of my surroundings. but somehow i knew to step off the bus at the right stop, somehow i managed to turn in the right direction, somehow i managed to put one foot in front of the other... left right left right left... and i ended up at home. i felt like i was being moved by some other entity.

many things are out of my control. i don't mean in the sense that things are all falling down around me, and i can't do anything about it. it is simply a truth statement. it is my coming face to face with this truth and being awakened to the reality that very little is really in my control. i want to help, but i can do nothing - but pray. i hope i'm not giving off the impression that i think prayer is useless. quite the opposite, i absolutely believe that prayer is the essence of any source of real power. such a simple thing, just conversation with God. yet it has such intense power to move, to change. yes, i think i should pray.

even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the lord will renew their strength. they will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. ~ isaiah 40:30-31

*boredom reigns*
in my absolute lack of productivity today, i've managed to surf through many of my friends' blogs from vancouver, plus a few i don't even know... and i found out one of my old sunday school kids is graduating this year! where has the time gone? i refuse to let this turn into a sob blog about how old i feel.... so i'll stop here.

here's a thought: should our deepest and innermost thoughts be publicized for the world to see? how does God up in heaven view all this? are we really able to let our selves honestly flow when we are ever-conscious of an audience of many?

tawk amongst yerselves.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESS!!

*almost forgot*
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my l'il sis STELLA, who is 18 today! and also HAPPY GRAD in a few weeks..!!

gosh i'm getting old....

*and when the Spirit comes on you...*
i love my church. anytime that more than a few of us get together, it's chaos. so beautiful. some of the events which has led me to conclude that we have an absolutely crazy-for-God church... we have been running an alpha course for the past 5 weeks. to begin with we host it at an italian restaurant. most churches that run the alpha course have it at their church. we have a buffet, eat like pigs and talk God. kinda interesting since i think it was my church in vancouver who pioneered the "alpha-at-a-cafe" trend... and now i'm here in HK, doing the same thing.

this past weekend was the 'retreat' weekend, aka Holy Spirit weekend. we went out to lantau island, stayed at the silvermine beach hotel, and again ate like pigs. but i think i can safely say that everyone also got pretty full on the bread of life as well. several people ended up committing their lives to God, and i just have to mention one person in particular, because he reminded me of why we (the church, christians, etc) do anything of this at all. camillo is an old friend of matt's, and through the years he had gotten involved with drugs and became a heroin addict. he had gone for rehab, gotten better, but then had a relapse and ended up hurting his arm. this was abpout the time when most of us met him. i'm sure matt had been sharing the gospel with cam for a long time, and he's been pretty open to coming to alpha and hanging out with us. at the weekend, after the 2nd talk, when we had invited the Holy Spirit to come and do his thang, cam was totally blasted, he gave his life to God, and was filled with the holy spirit.

i talked to him afterwards... it's just so amazing how God changes lives. cam told me he just felt this immense sense of guilt for all the things he had done, and he knew how much it had hurt God. that was when he repented, but then he said he also felt an incredible sense of peace come over him, and he knew how much God loved him. i'm excited to see what God does with cam over the next few weeks. it's been awesome seeing others lately who have been growing tremendously in christ. back in sunday school this sunday (i teach the 11-13 year old class), we were also talking about the holy spirit, and i was explaining to them that when we accept God into our lives, it's like water being poured into a glass. that water will never go away. it can, however, become stagnant, if it's never used or refilled. nasty grime and algae can build up to a point where the water is no longer recognizable. but, when we continually humble ourselves, confess our sins, ask for forgiveness, God fills us more and more with his spirit. he fills us to fullness. to be FILLED with the holy spirit is to fill that glass up until it overflows. THAT'S when all that is inside us starts to come out. what is inside us that should come out? but the fruit of the spirit is love joy peace patience goodness kindness gentleness and self-control. against such things there is no law. (galatians 5:22) that's the difference people see when they say "you seem different these days..." i see that in gabby, and i know we will see that in camillo.

isn't God so good?? the grande finale to the weekend: feast at the 'king of kings' dimsum restaurant. no joke. this restaurant is made for us. what church do you know goes out for dimsum as a WHOLE CHURCH? we are crazy. that's all i can say.

crazy for God.

*joel 2:25*

and i will restore for you the years the locust has eaten...

i love this verse. it reminds me that our father in heaven has this beautiful way of redeeming the worst of our ugliness and rebellion for his glory. i am so thankful to my sweet jesus for this job i have, because i can witness this restoration of years in progress in some of my dear friends who have been to hell and back again. when the school requests these speakers to come and speak to their students, they expect to hear about how drugs ruin lives and perhaps a few horror stories to shock the students into staying away from drugs, but with me divinely put in charge of arranging these speakers, i bring in those who can tell of how they were pulled back from those ruins by nail-pierced hands and given full, restored lives. life traded in for death. one of those miracles that only God can pull off. these ruins are not merely filled with substance abuse or addiction. that is only the surface sludge. underneath that layer are often seeds of loneliness, rejection, unworthiness, confusion, pain... all weapons of the enemy. these things lie to us and tell us that there is no one who cares, no one who will ever truly love and accept us. they deceive us into thinking that worldly things like money, sex, self-indulgence, drugs are the only suitable painkillers. this is the hopelessness that cripples this generation.

but.... jesus came to save us from all of this. read psalm 103. it is so beautiful. this is the jesus who forgives all your iniquities, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who BEAUTIFIES, DIGNIFIES, and crowns you with loving-kindness and tender mercy; who satisfies your mouth with good so that your youth, renewed, is like the eagle's! (v.3-5)

i consider myself so fortunate to have this glimpse into some of the lives that God has redeemd and restored. i am so thankful that i can somehow play a small part in making these stories heard. and i thank you, m, d, c, k, j & d, for not being afraid to bare your weaknesses so that christ's strength can be made known.

and you shall eat in plenty and be satisfied and praise the name of the Lord, your God, who has dealt wondrously with you. AND MY PEOPLE SHALL NEVER BE PUT TO SHAME.