*woohooo PICS!!*
enjoy... i still haven't figured out how to post them at a respectable size :(

coming soon... youth alive


a rare sampan at the central pier


a couple of beauties


the flower market at victoria park...


these guys don't beat around the bush


on a night wander around victoria park, derek and i found a legion of kitty kats


comments?? on a slightly different note, one_eighty has finally got a new and marginally functional website! YAY!~ click on the link on the left to have a looksy... it reminds of something... what... could it...be...??

*faith is*
i'm at a standstill, in the midst of a whole lot of new commotion.


on top of still attempting to arrange a suitable time to meet with the peoples at mother's choice regarding volunteering full-time at the pregnant girls services and adoption unit, i am now a full-time tutor for a budding hollywood child actor, in the process of applying for a counselor post at hkis, and wondering how to fit in the KELY program i am still trying to finish off by february.


now the problem is, all of these things are dependent on the outcome of the others. i can do nothing. i just go where i'm told when i'm told by the production company, and the rest i have to entrust in the hands of the almighty.


is it frustrating? flipping heck yeah. but there really is very little i can do. so i trust, because that is all i can do. this is what faith is all about isn't it? when i am completely out of my own strength, completely unable to control the situation, completely clueless as to the outcome of it all, hope remains. so i trust, and wait, and hope.


faith is...
resting in his love,
his presence,
his provision.

*"it's time for you to update..."*
... so i was told.

yes there's been a lot on my mind these days, but which are eligible, or necessary, to be posted for all the world to see?

here's one: the idea that my Father in heaven will bring me into a spacious place was brought to my attention a few years ago, along with a few other things. (note: if you want to know more about this, i'd be more than happy to explain - just ask - but i prefer not to do it on this forum.) at the time, some of those other things stood out quite significantly to me, and i had been pondering upon and asking the Lord what they meant from time to time. i have even recently taken (yet another) step of faith towards a particular direction because of one of those words.

but it was only today (or rather yesterday, since it's officially tuesday now as i write...) that i realized going into a "spacious place" was biblical. well i suppose it's time i looked into what this really means. so i looked up a few verses and this was the one that seems to linger:

He is wooing you from the jaws of distress
to a spacious place free from restriction,
to the comfort of your table laden with choice food.
But now you are laden with the judgment due the wicked;
judgment and justice have taken hold of you ~ job 36:16-17

now i'm not posting to share with you how this has since impacted my life spiritually. no, because i have no idea what it means. i have no idea what God wants to tell me with this. so if there's anyone reading who's gifted with the prophetic, and wishes to share a bit of wisdom, please do.

thanks :)

selah.

*a postscript*
one more thing... i just remembered...

something that has lingered heavy on my heart these past few days, and something that i reflected upon at the turn of the new year...

for reasons which are still a little hazy to me, i have felt a deep withdrawal from the masses for some time. this is a withdrawal not so much of the physical, but of the emotional and spiritual to some extent. i think it really sunk deeper at the turn of the new year last year (if anyone recalls, i was in uncontrollable sobs between the hugs and 'happy new year!'s).

so i suppose what i want - nay, need - to do is apologize and ask forgiveness from all of you for my lack of presence in spirit for the past year or so. some may have noticed, some may not have (especially, i suppose, the ones i only got to know last year...), and i know it is also accentuated because derek is the complete opposite, and it is difficult not to compare even for myself. but that's not the point.

the point is, i know there have been many times, many places, when i could and should have been more. more of a friend, a sister, a fellow sojourner. but i wasn't, and i'm sorry. i regret all the missed opportunities to be an agent of God's love, grace, kindness... i only fear that some of the gaps which were created because of my withdrawal have grown into deep chasms which cannot be bridged.

i admit i don't know where to go from here. i try to reconnect - the mind and body is willing but sometimes the spirit is still disconnected. there has definately been better moments in the past few years, but now, as i consciously try to make amends with my own spirit, the struggle seems even harder.

so, i ask you to forgive. i want ALL of you (i would name each and every one, even the ones who don't read blogs, but that would take too long...) to know that i want to be here for you, if only a bit out of shape.

*something for my musician friends to waste time on...*

You're an Indie Pop Kid. You like songs about
relationships and the prettiness of nature.
You're sentimental, but not certainly not emo.
Oh, and if you aren't an English Major, you
should be.


You Know Yer Indie. Let's Sub-Categorize.
brought to you by Quizilla

*some mindless babble...*
it's starting to get cold again. "a cold front is moving in..." the weather report says. derek loves the cold. i love it too, but only for the chance to become nostalgic about snow.


i've recently rediscovered a cardigan that i've had in my closet for a very long time. it's my granny cardigan, but it's so soft and warm. and the best thing about it, is that the sleeves are about 6 inches too long. maybe it was some bizarre factory defect, maybe it was intentional, but whatever the reason, it's damn cool. now my fingers can stay warm as i type in this otherwise heat-forsaken building. my poor body still expects central heating... silly billy.


so i think i'm finally getting over being sick. i think that might have been a record. over a month. i'm still coughing randomly, but i bet it would go away the sooner i stop eating stuff like banoffee pie that coats my throat with sugar and spice and everything nice.


*sigh* sars that come from filthy cats, avian bird flu, mad cow's disease... what next? is this the animal kingdom's way of getting back at humans for exploiting them over the centuries?

vision without power [not being realized] is just fantasy. ~ tony read

*midnight madness*
where did this term come from? it just came to me, and it think it was a thing we used to do at this camp i worked at the summer '99 (i'm just a bit younger than bryan adams...) - camp qwanoes. during any given night, the unsuspecting campers could be woken up with a loud horn... we would drag all the sleepy heads from their cozy sleeping bags in the traditional log cabins, across the dewy field, into the main building for a spontaeous party in the middle of the night. it was midnight madness.


but i digress.


in my old age (yes for those who are keeping track, i am now officially less than one year from the big bad 30), i have a new found joy i want to share with you all, in the wee hours of the night: that is, the joy of being able to tap away on my lovely ibook IN BED. i've finally managed to arrange all the wires so that it reaches to my bed. no more sitting hunch on the floor with my knees all bent, no siree. unfortunately, i do not yet have the luxury of going wireless with an airport... but i can always pray right? i mean, derek did and he got his 30gb ipod from his ex-boss. man, don't i wish i had a wealthy (or maybe just corrupt) boss sometimes...


it's funny how age just doesn't seem to touch me. since turning 29 last week, you would think something would feel different. maybe that special feeling is only reserved for next year (or rather later this year... eeks). and in case anyone who hasn't seen me for a few years was wondering, i still look about 21. and to be honest i sometimes don't feel much older than 21. ed ng and i were just marvelling at that thought awhile back. we have known each other for over 18 years now, and that realization alone sent me into shock, but neither of us really feel that old.


granted, there have been times when i feel old in my soul - when i just feel worn out. there have been times when i feel like i've seen enough and been through enough to call it quits... but apparently mr.God has other plans.


so, i look forward to 2004 and all the challenges it's going to bring, even turning 30. especially turning 30. i have life in me still.

*XXVII*
weary with toll i haste me to my bed,
the dear repose for limbs with travel tired;
but then begins a journey in my head,
to work my mind, when body's work's expired:
for then my thoughts (from far where i abide)
intend a zealous pilgrimage to Thee,
and keep my drooping eyelids open wide,
looking on darkness which the blind do see:
save that soul's imaginary sight
presents thy shadow to my sightless view,
which, like a jewel hung in ghastly night,
makes black night beauteous, and her old face new.
lo! thus by day my limbs, by night my mind,
for thee, and for myself, no quiet find.

*a day in the park*
derek and i spent the afternoon at victoria park today. we had our precious time with God and prayed amongst japanese kids playing soccer, teenagers blowing bubbles, and ladies begging for money.


i feel a tingly anticipation for the new year. there is much to do, and enjoy. as the Master looks through His diary for this year, i wonder what he's got in store for us bunch down here, in hong kong, at the vine, in my life. i can't say too much right now, as not much has been revealed to me. but i will take what i have been given, and i will plant it, and sow it. the reaping will come in due time.


God does not give us everything we want, but he does fulfill his promises. ~ dietrich bonhoeffer


derek breaks in the new year

a milder, gentler diesel

jacinta and her new-found love: crocheting

bubble tea happiness

dayve mesmerized by ps2

it's a beautiful day